Scams have changed with the times, and dating platforms give fraudsters exactly what they need: people who are open to a connection and willing to trust. Some scammers take advantage of that hope. Here's how the most common dating scams work, how to recognize them and what to do if you've been targeted.
The scale is real. In the United States alone, nearly 70,000 people reported a romance scam to the Federal Trade Commission in 2022, with reported losses of $1.3 billion and a median loss of $4,400 (FTC, 2023). And many victims never report at all.
Most online scams use the same basic techniques, but some are tailor-made for dating. The aim is to build a bond with the victim, who won't expect to be exploited by someone they feel close to. Dating sites and apps also let scammers contact many people at once, which raises their odds.
For some, it's a full-time business, run by organized networks that maintain fake relationships with several victims at the same time. Scammers are often based far away from the people they target, and far from the police who could arrest them. Their whole challenge is to create a feeling of closeness: geographic closeness sometimes, but above all emotional closeness. Here are the techniques they use most.
Catfishing means pretending to be someone else, using stolen photos and fake social media accounts to build an entire persona behind which the scammer hides.
The long con takes it further. The scammer spends weeks or months building trust, sometimes without ever mentioning money, until they're sure the victim has no doubts left. When the request finally comes, the amount can be large, or the victim trusts them enough to send money again and again.
A variant often called “pig butchering” combines romance and fake investment: the new partner gradually introduces you to a supposedly lucrative trading platform (more on that below). In every version, victims are convinced the relationship is real. That's what makes these scams so devastating: on top of the money, people lose a relationship they believed was sincere.
Another common scheme relies on blackmail. Here too, the scammer starts by lowering your guard. Under the pretext of flirting or sexting, they persuade you to send nude photos or intimate videos.
To seem legitimate, they often send explicit images first. These are usually taken from elsewhere online, and the people in them have nothing to do with the scammer.
Once they have compromising images of you, the blackmail starts: pay, or the pictures will be posted online or sent to your friends, family or colleagues. Many victims pay out of fear. Paying rarely ends it, though; it tells the scammer you're willing to pay again.
Some scammers build entire fake dating platforms. They add fake testimonials praising the service and sometimes use chatbots to keep conversations going and steer people toward the site.
Victims then pay for a service, often with the promise of easy hookups, but no one is waiting for them and the money goes straight to the scammers. Shame plays a role here too: the more unusual the service someone paid for, the harder it can feel to report it.
In this version, the scammer first builds a relationship, then casually mentions how much money they've made through an investment, often in cryptocurrency. Gradually, they encourage you to try it too, and offer to help you invest “safely.”
Sometimes they disappear with the first payment. Often they play a longer game: a fake platform shows impressive returns, you may even be allowed to withdraw a small amount, and you're encouraged to invest much more. Then the account is frozen, the “fees” to unlock it keep growing, and the person vanishes. The FTC notes that cryptocurrency and bank wires together accounted for more than 60% of reported romance scam losses in 2022.
Scammers tend to reuse the same scripts, and some of their clumsiness is deliberate: implausible stories filter out the most cautious people and keep the ones most likely to believe them. Watch for these signs:
What these signs have in common is distance. Despite the beautiful words, scammers resist anything that would reveal who they really are: more photos, a video call, concrete details about their life. That isn't shyness; it's a way to hide their real identity.
Scammers can spend weeks or months building a fake relationship, so caution needs to last as long as the doubt does. A few habits make a big difference:
Erring on the side of caution costs you very little. At best, you avoid a scam. And if the person is genuine, they should understand your need to protect yourself.
There's little solid research on whether neurodivergent adults are targeted more often than others, and it would be wrong to treat them as easy prey. Scams work on hope, loneliness and trust, which everyone has, not on a lack of intelligence.
That said, some traits can make certain tactics more effective. Someone who takes what people say at face value may find it harder to spot a scripted story. Someone who is impulsive, or who seeks intensity, may say yes to a risky request before thinking it through. Someone who has felt lonely or misunderstood for a long time may be especially moved by a person who seems to “finally get” them. If you recognize yourself in any of this, it isn't a weakness; it's useful self-knowledge. Agreeing on a simple rule in advance, such as never sending money to anyone you haven't met, can protect you better than trying to judge each situation in the moment. Our neurodivergent dating guide has more on dating in a way that suits how you work.
First, know that being scammed says nothing about your intelligence. These schemes are run by people who do this for a living, and they are designed to work on ordinary, caring people.
If the experience leaves you shaken, talking to someone you trust, or to a professional, can help. Losing a relationship you believed in hurts, even when it was never real.
Dating platforms have become better at detecting fake profiles, but some scammers still slip through. On Atypikoo, new profiles are reviewed before they appear, by AI or by our team, and you can report any profile that worries you. No review catches everything, though, so the best protection remains a few simple rules.
If you joined a dating site to meet people, you're not there to fund anyone. When someone you've never met asks you for money, ask yourself why, and what they really want. And remember that online caution goes beyond dating: share as little personal data as you can, keep your address to yourself, and only send money through services you trust.
Atypikoo ranks 3rd in the Capital × Statista 2026 ranking, in the Specialized Dating & Social Networks category.
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